Women’s Conference

Wednesday 07-31-2013

We started our morning praying, singing praises and reading Romans 8: 28-39, preparing our hearts for the women’s conference. The staff of IAA were making preparations for the day as well. They taught a few of us how to make the fried dough (“mandazi”) they made for tea time.

The women’s conference was to start at 9am, but according to Kenyan time it was much later. Many of the children had to take their children to school and then walk to the conference. We started at 9:45 with 8 women and gradually grew to 74 women total. Some of the women brought their children, mostly babies wrapped on their backs with blankets.

The babies were a bit shocked to see white people and the mothers thought it was really funny, so they would bring their babies close to us and the babies would start screaming and the mothers would laugh hysterically.

Dr. Keyes and Dr. Harris-Keyes led the first session about domestic violence and control. The next presentation was led by two of our team members, teaching on parenting, specifically using logical consequences instead of punishment. After a tea break, we led groups with the women about the topics they just heard. Each group was very different. Some of the groups were very quiet while others shared about marital rape, female genital mutilation (FGM), the Rift Valley Massacres of 2008, verbal, and physical spousal abuse. Each group had about 12 women and some of the those groups did not have a single woman who was not personally affected by spousal abuse. They do not have many opportunities to talk about their experiences and emotions related to spousal abuse.  One of the groups focused on how they often just keep their emotions inside and then later explode or might want to commit suicide. The group leaders shared other techniques they can use to calm their emotions. The women also discussed that they enforce punishment rather than consequences with their children. Some of the women were interested in learning how to parent their children in other ways. They could see how caning their children was not actually the best way to respond to their children.

After leading the first group today, our team had a time of supervision, in which we were able to discuss how each group went. We heard some pretty traumatic stories (for example marital rape, FGM, affairs, and physical and spousal abuse). It was good to be able to talk about how it was to lead the groups and our responses to what we heard.

Dr. Reese led his presentation about hope. After his presentation, we split into our groups again and led the women in discussions about hope. Some of the groups were difficult to lead, as they did not want to talk at all. There were honorary grandmothers who encouraged the younger women to share their thoughts about hope and hopelessness. We noticed during the second supervision time that there were common themes during the hope group sessions. These common themes included persistent prayer, patience, and sharing problems with close friends.  

Our time of debriefing focused on releasing the stories that were heard throughout the day and discussing ways of how we will take care of ourselves so we will be refreshed and ready for our last full day here. Tomorrow is the men’s conference. Thanks for your prayers! Please pray for strength, energy, focus, and God’s heart for those we are ministering to tomorrow.

-Elena, Jen, Kelly, & Maria

PS- This blog may or may not have been written while listening to Justin Bieber, Eye of the Tiger, and Pocket Full of Sunshine. Self care, people – you do what you gotta do!

Pastor’s Conference Day 2

 Tuesday 07-30-2013

We started our day with a time of prayer and reading Psalm 61 & Isaiah 45 before setting up for the final day of the Pastors’ conference.  We saw a lot of familiar faces from yesterday. Yet, we also had the pleasure of meeting some new pastors who heard about the conference from those who attended yesterday.  We set out Christian books that were donated for the pastors. The pastors told us how amazing it was to have the opportunity to choose one of these books since most of them do not have very many books and are only able to get them from Nairobi. After the pastors picked their book, we started the conference with energetic worship, Kenyan style; there is nothing quite like it. Some of us found it to be similar to an aerobic exercise class, yet with beaming joyful Kenyan faces, worshiping our Mighty God.

The first session involved working with substance abuse in the church. This included discussion of the 12-step model of recovering from addictions (as seen in groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Celebrate Recovery). After this session, our team members paired off to lead group discussions focusing on this topic. During these sessions, the pastors shared their experiences working with those suffering from addictions as well as their family members. Some pastors were recovering alcoholics themselves and had never shared that information with others. Other pastors have shared their personal experiences with substance abuse and have even integrated programs in their churches that support families of those struggling with substance abuse. Many of the pastors wrestled with whether to excommunicate or embrace those with substance addictions. They also were intrigued by the physiological components of addictions. Previously, they viewed addiction solely as sin. The pastors discussed ways that they could minister to those struggling with addictions.

Following these groups, Dr. Keyes and a student shared information about Human Trafficking. After this presentation, we had a break for lunch. The pastors talked to one another about the topic and following lunch we met in our same groups to lead another discussion. During the groups about human trafficking, the pastors shared stories about their relatives and church members who have been trafficked both in Kenya and abroad (especially Saudi Arabia). The pastors realized that they have been aware of members of their congregation who have become “house girls” and part of the role of a “house girl” is often engaging in sexual activities with the man of the household. The pastors realized that through their awareness of this, they are in part, promoting this negative treatment of women. While the pastors were passionate about educating girls and their parents about the risk factors of being trafficked, they were uncomfortable discussing ways to discourage men from using prostitutes. However, they expressed compassion and concern when discussing ways to minister to those who had been trafficked.

After the group about human trafficking, Dr. Keyes and Dr. Harris-Keyes led a presentation about domestic violence. This presentation focused on power and control dynamics in family, specifically emphasizing male dominance, which is prevalent in Kenya. A brief second presentation was shared about controlling anger. Reactions were mixed as even the pastors wanted to maintain control of their own families. Women in this country are subservient to the point of battery.

While Dr. Keyes & Dr. Harris-Keyes presented these last two presentations, Dr. Reese led the other members of our team in our 3^rd and final supervision session of the day.  During the supervision sessions, we had the opportunity to discuss how we would lead groups before we led them and the opportunity to process groups after we finished leading them. It was interesting how there were common conversations and stories in all of the groups, yet many differences in group dynamics as well. One group had difficulty with a translator overtaking the group discussion. The group leaders of this group dealt with frustration yet also recognized that they were learning the very valuable skill of confrontation within groups. Dr. Reese ended our final supervision session of the day by asking each member of our team how they planned implement self care after this group. We each spent time walking, running, worshiping, reading, singing, coloring, etc. During our nightly debriefing meeting, the professors shared how they were proud of us for the development of our counseling skills. Now we are ready for a good night’s rest so we are ready for our women’s conference in the morning. Thank you again for your prayers. Please be praying for our last two days in Kaningop, Kenya.

-Ashley & Kelly 

Pastor’s Conference

Monday 07-29-2013

The day began with a bible study focused on I Thessalonians 5.   The lesson emphasized edifying one another (11), listening to those appointed over us (12) and helping others (v14).  The teaching, in conjunction with prayer, set the tone for a wonderful day of teaching and ministering to God’s people.

Today was the first of a two-day pastor’s conference.   We taught lessons regarding Grief and Loss, Loneliness and Abandonment, Hope, as well as Quality of Life.   Following the Grief and Loss and Hope presentations, a pair of Regent Team members (RTM) led small groups to discuss personal reflections, lessons learned, and practical application.  Some stories touched us deeply.  For example, one pastor shared his story regarding the loss of his wife, and later, the loss of a child.  Another pastor spoke of being physically cold for one year following the death of a loved one.  A major theme across the different groups was the purpose of tears in the grieving process.  Although, there were six groups, the pastors asked and commented about crying in each one.  It seems two commonality between Kenyans and Americans, are the beliefs that men don’t cry and grieving should be a relatively brief process.  There was a combination of relief and surprise that crying could contribute to the healing process.  Overall, it quickly became evident how necessary the need was for teaching the pastors about these topics.  The presentation on Hope was difficult for the Pastors to grasp because they kept referring back to the Grief and Loss Presentation.  The workday ended with a solo from Dr. Keyes, who apparently, was a vocal major in college.  The things you learn about your professors on trips.  J 

Immediately after the conference, some of the RTM spent time conversing with the pastors and interpreters.  We have found that a great way to become informed about culture is to spend time with the local population and engage with them.   They seem to appreciate our curiosity and openness.  Before dinner, Elena, Jen, Merrill, Ashley, Kelly and Sarah took a walk around the compound.  On the journey, an opportunity presented to take numerous pictures with farm animals, specifically cows.  The highlight of the photo session was the staring from the local people.  They literally stopped all activity to watch us.  We are quite sure they must have thought the Americans were crazy for posing with their livestock.  Later in the evening, it was made known that Maria and Kathy were secretly stalking the first group on a walk of their own.  All in all, it was a wonderful day full of teaching, counseling techniques, and dancing. 

God Bless,

- Elena & Jen

Pastor’s Conference

Monday 07-29-2013

The day began with a bible study focused on I Thessalonians 5.   The lesson emphasized edifying one another (11), listening to those appointed over us (12) and helping others (v14).  The teaching, in conjunction with prayer, set the tone for a wonderful day of teaching and ministering to God’s people.

Today was the first of a two-day pastor’s conference.   We taught lessons regarding Grief and Loss, Loneliness and Abandonment, Hope, as well as Quality of Life.   Following the Grief and Loss and Hope presentations, a pair of Regent Team members (RTM) led small groups to discuss personal reflections, lessons learned, and practical application.  Some stories touched us deeply.  For example, one pastor shared his story regarding the loss of his wife, and later, the loss of a child.  Another pastor spoke of being physically cold for one year following the death of a loved one.  A major theme across the different groups was the purpose of tears in the grieving process.  Although, there were six groups, the pastors asked and commented about crying in each one.  It seems two commonality between Kenyans and Americans, are the beliefs that men don’t cry and grieving should be a relatively brief process.  There was a combination of relief and surprise that crying could contribute to the healing process.  Overall, it quickly became evident how necessary the need was for teaching the pastors about these topics.  The presentation on Hope was difficult for the Pastors to grasp because they kept referring back to the Grief and Loss Presentation.  The workday ended with a solo from Dr. Keyes, who apparently, was a vocal major in college.  The things you learn about your professors on trips.  J 

Immediately after the conference, some of the RTM spent time conversing with the pastors and interpreters.  We have found that a great way to become informed about culture is to spend time with the local population and engage with them.   They seem to appreciate our curiosity and openness.  Before dinner, Elena, Jen, Merrill, Ashley, Kelly and Sarah took a walk around the compound.  On the journey, an opportunity presented to take numerous pictures with farm animals, specifically cows.  The highlight of the photo session was the staring from the local people.  They literally stopped all activity to watch us.  We are quite sure they must have thought the Americans were crazy for posing with their livestock.  Later in the evening, it was made known that Maria and Kathy were secretly stalking the first group on a walk of their own.  All in all, it was a wonderful day full of teaching, counseling techniques, and dancing. 

God Bless,

- Elena & Jen

On the Seventh Day God Rested

 Sunday 07-28-2013

Today was a day off for the team!  Unfortunately, Dr. Keyes had to spend the day planning out the rest of the week.  We had a leisurely breakfast and morning, and then went to church on the Into Abba’s Arms Compound (IAA). The IAA compound opens their doors to all the neighborhood children for a church service and afterwards cookies and a game of soccer.  The church service worship started with all of the children up front, over 70, dancing and doing dance steps and line dances while worshiping! The beat was fast and the children were so happy worshiping the Lord! After worship there was a time of the children sharing testimonies of God waking them up this morning, speaking to them and giving them songs. There was a time of shared memory verses; and then four different choirs amazed us with beautiful songs, voices and dancing for the Lord. The leaders and staff of IAA introduced themselves and sang a song for the children, and the message was given.  After the cookies were given to the children, they started playing soccer, a version of hopscotch and other games.

A group of us, Elena, Maria and Sarah; were taken on a walk around the IAA compound by two of the older girls, Teresia and Lydia. We walked out the door of the compound, and right up a dirt road. The countryside was beautiful, with farmland, and the occasional cow or house.  We walked up the road, took a right onto a larger dirt road, making a loop around IAA. Teresia brought us to the home of a woman right outside the compound.  She was in a small room with a fire in the center, visiting with another woman. Another neighbor came by that could interpret for us since the two older women only spoke Kikuyu, and Teresia and Lydia spoke only Swahili. We were invited into the main house, which was about 10 feet away, to visit. We sat inside and talked about how we had come to IAA, and that we were putting on a women’s and men’s conference this week. We also prayed for the woman of the house, for back pain; we held hands while standing in a circle and prayed for her.    

Overall it seemed that team members were able to connect individually with the children and staff of IAA as well as members of the community.  It was nice to have time to get to know the individuals and do one on one counseling with the use of modified sand tray with stones.  With this technique two girls relayed stories of life prior to coming to IAA and revealed the amounts of trauma and resiliency they have experienced in life.  It’s hard to believe our time is coming to a close here with only four days left.   We are excited to begin our conferences and go out with a bang!

- Jen, Maria, and Sarah