Pastor’s Conference Day 2

 Tuesday 07-30-2013

We started our day with a time of prayer and reading Psalm 61 & Isaiah 45 before setting up for the final day of the Pastors’ conference.  We saw a lot of familiar faces from yesterday. Yet, we also had the pleasure of meeting some new pastors who heard about the conference from those who attended yesterday.  We set out Christian books that were donated for the pastors. The pastors told us how amazing it was to have the opportunity to choose one of these books since most of them do not have very many books and are only able to get them from Nairobi. After the pastors picked their book, we started the conference with energetic worship, Kenyan style; there is nothing quite like it. Some of us found it to be similar to an aerobic exercise class, yet with beaming joyful Kenyan faces, worshiping our Mighty God.

The first session involved working with substance abuse in the church. This included discussion of the 12-step model of recovering from addictions (as seen in groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Celebrate Recovery). After this session, our team members paired off to lead group discussions focusing on this topic. During these sessions, the pastors shared their experiences working with those suffering from addictions as well as their family members. Some pastors were recovering alcoholics themselves and had never shared that information with others. Other pastors have shared their personal experiences with substance abuse and have even integrated programs in their churches that support families of those struggling with substance abuse. Many of the pastors wrestled with whether to excommunicate or embrace those with substance addictions. They also were intrigued by the physiological components of addictions. Previously, they viewed addiction solely as sin. The pastors discussed ways that they could minister to those struggling with addictions.

Following these groups, Dr. Keyes and a student shared information about Human Trafficking. After this presentation, we had a break for lunch. The pastors talked to one another about the topic and following lunch we met in our same groups to lead another discussion. During the groups about human trafficking, the pastors shared stories about their relatives and church members who have been trafficked both in Kenya and abroad (especially Saudi Arabia). The pastors realized that they have been aware of members of their congregation who have become “house girls” and part of the role of a “house girl” is often engaging in sexual activities with the man of the household. The pastors realized that through their awareness of this, they are in part, promoting this negative treatment of women. While the pastors were passionate about educating girls and their parents about the risk factors of being trafficked, they were uncomfortable discussing ways to discourage men from using prostitutes. However, they expressed compassion and concern when discussing ways to minister to those who had been trafficked.

After the group about human trafficking, Dr. Keyes and Dr. Harris-Keyes led a presentation about domestic violence. This presentation focused on power and control dynamics in family, specifically emphasizing male dominance, which is prevalent in Kenya. A brief second presentation was shared about controlling anger. Reactions were mixed as even the pastors wanted to maintain control of their own families. Women in this country are subservient to the point of battery.

While Dr. Keyes & Dr. Harris-Keyes presented these last two presentations, Dr. Reese led the other members of our team in our 3^rd and final supervision session of the day.  During the supervision sessions, we had the opportunity to discuss how we would lead groups before we led them and the opportunity to process groups after we finished leading them. It was interesting how there were common conversations and stories in all of the groups, yet many differences in group dynamics as well. One group had difficulty with a translator overtaking the group discussion. The group leaders of this group dealt with frustration yet also recognized that they were learning the very valuable skill of confrontation within groups. Dr. Reese ended our final supervision session of the day by asking each member of our team how they planned implement self care after this group. We each spent time walking, running, worshiping, reading, singing, coloring, etc. During our nightly debriefing meeting, the professors shared how they were proud of us for the development of our counseling skills. Now we are ready for a good night’s rest so we are ready for our women’s conference in the morning. Thank you again for your prayers. Please be praying for our last two days in Kaningop, Kenya.

-Ashley & Kelly 

Pastor’s Conference

Monday 07-29-2013

The day began with a bible study focused on I Thessalonians 5.   The lesson emphasized edifying one another (11), listening to those appointed over us (12) and helping others (v14).  The teaching, in conjunction with prayer, set the tone for a wonderful day of teaching and ministering to God’s people.

Today was the first of a two-day pastor’s conference.   We taught lessons regarding Grief and Loss, Loneliness and Abandonment, Hope, as well as Quality of Life.   Following the Grief and Loss and Hope presentations, a pair of Regent Team members (RTM) led small groups to discuss personal reflections, lessons learned, and practical application.  Some stories touched us deeply.  For example, one pastor shared his story regarding the loss of his wife, and later, the loss of a child.  Another pastor spoke of being physically cold for one year following the death of a loved one.  A major theme across the different groups was the purpose of tears in the grieving process.  Although, there were six groups, the pastors asked and commented about crying in each one.  It seems two commonality between Kenyans and Americans, are the beliefs that men don’t cry and grieving should be a relatively brief process.  There was a combination of relief and surprise that crying could contribute to the healing process.  Overall, it quickly became evident how necessary the need was for teaching the pastors about these topics.  The presentation on Hope was difficult for the Pastors to grasp because they kept referring back to the Grief and Loss Presentation.  The workday ended with a solo from Dr. Keyes, who apparently, was a vocal major in college.  The things you learn about your professors on trips.  J 

Immediately after the conference, some of the RTM spent time conversing with the pastors and interpreters.  We have found that a great way to become informed about culture is to spend time with the local population and engage with them.   They seem to appreciate our curiosity and openness.  Before dinner, Elena, Jen, Merrill, Ashley, Kelly and Sarah took a walk around the compound.  On the journey, an opportunity presented to take numerous pictures with farm animals, specifically cows.  The highlight of the photo session was the staring from the local people.  They literally stopped all activity to watch us.  We are quite sure they must have thought the Americans were crazy for posing with their livestock.  Later in the evening, it was made known that Maria and Kathy were secretly stalking the first group on a walk of their own.  All in all, it was a wonderful day full of teaching, counseling techniques, and dancing. 

God Bless,

- Elena & Jen

Pastor’s Conference

Monday 07-29-2013

The day began with a bible study focused on I Thessalonians 5.   The lesson emphasized edifying one another (11), listening to those appointed over us (12) and helping others (v14).  The teaching, in conjunction with prayer, set the tone for a wonderful day of teaching and ministering to God’s people.

Today was the first of a two-day pastor’s conference.   We taught lessons regarding Grief and Loss, Loneliness and Abandonment, Hope, as well as Quality of Life.   Following the Grief and Loss and Hope presentations, a pair of Regent Team members (RTM) led small groups to discuss personal reflections, lessons learned, and practical application.  Some stories touched us deeply.  For example, one pastor shared his story regarding the loss of his wife, and later, the loss of a child.  Another pastor spoke of being physically cold for one year following the death of a loved one.  A major theme across the different groups was the purpose of tears in the grieving process.  Although, there were six groups, the pastors asked and commented about crying in each one.  It seems two commonality between Kenyans and Americans, are the beliefs that men don’t cry and grieving should be a relatively brief process.  There was a combination of relief and surprise that crying could contribute to the healing process.  Overall, it quickly became evident how necessary the need was for teaching the pastors about these topics.  The presentation on Hope was difficult for the Pastors to grasp because they kept referring back to the Grief and Loss Presentation.  The workday ended with a solo from Dr. Keyes, who apparently, was a vocal major in college.  The things you learn about your professors on trips.  J 

Immediately after the conference, some of the RTM spent time conversing with the pastors and interpreters.  We have found that a great way to become informed about culture is to spend time with the local population and engage with them.   They seem to appreciate our curiosity and openness.  Before dinner, Elena, Jen, Merrill, Ashley, Kelly and Sarah took a walk around the compound.  On the journey, an opportunity presented to take numerous pictures with farm animals, specifically cows.  The highlight of the photo session was the staring from the local people.  They literally stopped all activity to watch us.  We are quite sure they must have thought the Americans were crazy for posing with their livestock.  Later in the evening, it was made known that Maria and Kathy were secretly stalking the first group on a walk of their own.  All in all, it was a wonderful day full of teaching, counseling techniques, and dancing. 

God Bless,

- Elena & Jen

On the Seventh Day God Rested

 Sunday 07-28-2013

Today was a day off for the team!  Unfortunately, Dr. Keyes had to spend the day planning out the rest of the week.  We had a leisurely breakfast and morning, and then went to church on the Into Abba’s Arms Compound (IAA). The IAA compound opens their doors to all the neighborhood children for a church service and afterwards cookies and a game of soccer.  The church service worship started with all of the children up front, over 70, dancing and doing dance steps and line dances while worshiping! The beat was fast and the children were so happy worshiping the Lord! After worship there was a time of the children sharing testimonies of God waking them up this morning, speaking to them and giving them songs. There was a time of shared memory verses; and then four different choirs amazed us with beautiful songs, voices and dancing for the Lord. The leaders and staff of IAA introduced themselves and sang a song for the children, and the message was given.  After the cookies were given to the children, they started playing soccer, a version of hopscotch and other games.

A group of us, Elena, Maria and Sarah; were taken on a walk around the IAA compound by two of the older girls, Teresia and Lydia. We walked out the door of the compound, and right up a dirt road. The countryside was beautiful, with farmland, and the occasional cow or house.  We walked up the road, took a right onto a larger dirt road, making a loop around IAA. Teresia brought us to the home of a woman right outside the compound.  She was in a small room with a fire in the center, visiting with another woman. Another neighbor came by that could interpret for us since the two older women only spoke Kikuyu, and Teresia and Lydia spoke only Swahili. We were invited into the main house, which was about 10 feet away, to visit. We sat inside and talked about how we had come to IAA, and that we were putting on a women’s and men’s conference this week. We also prayed for the woman of the house, for back pain; we held hands while standing in a circle and prayed for her.    

Overall it seemed that team members were able to connect individually with the children and staff of IAA as well as members of the community.  It was nice to have time to get to know the individuals and do one on one counseling with the use of modified sand tray with stones.  With this technique two girls relayed stories of life prior to coming to IAA and revealed the amounts of trauma and resiliency they have experienced in life.  It’s hard to believe our time is coming to a close here with only four days left.   We are excited to begin our conferences and go out with a bang!

- Jen, Maria, and Sarah

Mental Health Professional Training Take 2

 Today we led a conference for mental health professionals working as community health workers, counselors, and administrators. The workers came to Into Abba’s Arms for three presentations on drugs, alcohol, and human trafficking presented by Dr. Benjamin Keyes and some of his students. After each presentation the professionals were divided into three groups for discussions about what they had just learned. 

During the first small group about drugs and alcohol group members discussed personal experiences. Each group member seemed to have a member from his or her immediate family who struggled with substance abuse, primarily alcohol abuse. One woman even shared her current struggle related to her husband’s alcohol abuse. This substance abuse started prior to their marriage, however he promised to stop abusing alcohol. To this day he has not kept his promise. She shared that he started physically abusing her when she was pregnant with their daughter. He has not abused his baby girl but continues to physically abuse his wife. Recently she went to her pastor and shared about her husband’s alcohol addiction; she did not share about her husband’s physical abuse. Having the opportunity to talk to the group as well as talking to some members from our team seemed to be beneficial since she has not shared this trauma with many people.  Other groups during the first group session discussed the alcohol abuse prevalence and how it has negatively affected entire families and the community. Many professionals mentioned how death, loss of relationships, broken families, theft, and robbery have been the result of the use of alcohol among the population.

The second group discussion was focused on relating the information they had learned about substance abuse, primarily alcohol, to their professions.  During this group’s session the question arose “Does alcohol use make someone become a rapist?” Discussion followed about the high prevalence of raping babies and bestiality. The overwhelming pain was evident in the faces of the group members. Their countenance completely changed to that of sorrow and shame. During this group session, another group was made aware of the relationship between alcohol use and the initiation into adulthood. Clarity was given by the group members to our team about the initiation process. The cultural initiation process into adulthood includes the exposure to drugs, alcohol, and deviant sexual behaviors. This occurs over a 10-day ceremony where the older men in the community give the boy who is being initiated an excessive amount of drugs and alcohol. Also, the older men may perform sexual acts upon the boy or bring him a prostitute. Parents often say that their child returns as a different person with substance addiction. The group members shared that they believe educating children about substance abuse prior to this initiation would help prevent a majority of substance abuse problems. Some Christian parents do not allow their children to participate in this type of initiation. There are some churches that provide another type of initiation into adulthood; however these Christian initiations are not as popular. The group discussed ways to educate people about the negative effects of the cultural initiation ceremonies as well as other healthy ways to initiate children into adulthood. The third group mentioned ideas for ways to educate the people about substance abuse through the use of concerts. During their conversation, the group facilitators were made aware that many of the male professionals believe that any alcoholic abuse was because of the females. Many of the men stated that if women did not make their lives so difficult then they would not have a reason to drink.

The third group session was to be a reflection upon the human trafficking presentation. Walking into this group, there was a heavy feeling. During this group time it seemed like many of the members of one group were particularly stunned and overwhelmed by the information that they had learned. One woman asked “What is it that makes a full grown man want to have sex with a little baby? What parent would sell their child into the sex industry?” It became apparent that many in the group have known people who have taken “good jobs” in Saudi Arabia and have not returned nor been in contact. They seemed absolutely devastated when learning that human trafficking is a worldwide issue and that even the “great” United States suffers from this problem. Another group discussed ways to prevent human trafficking through the use of educating young women on ways that they can avoid trafficking. It was also apparent in this group that the men view the women as the cause to human trafficking. They believe that the women sell themselves and their children on purpose and it would not be an issue if they did not sell themselves. Within another group during the session it was evident that some of the people had personal experience with threats of human trafficking. One woman in particularly recalled a time when she was almost trafficked and she was very thankful that her mother intervened. This topic seemed to weigh heavy everyone’s heart.

During debriefing we had a lot to discuss. The members of our team experienced a variety of emotions throughout the day, ranging from sadness, irritation, anger, and a desire to see God heal and transform the people and the culture. It seemed like today has been the hardest day yet because there is so much change that needs to happen and this change will take time. Women are still seen as second or less than men and with this perspective; many women are abused without anywhere to go for help. One change that has occurred over the past year (since the previous Regent Trauma Team was here) is that churches are less likely to excommunicate a woman for leaving her abusive husband. Now, a woman needs to communicate her situation with her husband to her pastor prior to leaving so that she may remain a member of the church. It is encouraging to hear about this change; however, we are continuing to pray for more change to occur. We greatly appreciate you joining us in this prayer. Please continue to pray for us as we continue to fight against cultural norms and minister to these people. We’ve been told that today is a foretaste to what we will be doing this coming week with the pastor’s, women’s, and men’s conferences. Thanks for praying…we are now going to eat chocolate and listen to worship music. J

- Kelly and Sarah